Marriage and Divorce in Islam
Inheritance
in Islam
Marriage:
Marriage
in Islam is viewed as an important and sacred union between a man and
woman. Islam is a strong advocate of marriage, Islamic marriage is
based upon the betterment of the society. It is a social
necessity because through marriage, families are established and the
family is the fundamental unit of our society. In Islam marriage is
the foundation to start a family life, and its importance has been
mentioned in the Quran and the Sunnah repeatedly. Islam
emphasises the ideal relationship between a man and woman which
requires a healthy, moral and secure environment where children can
be raised. In the Qur'an, the marriage relationship is described as
one with "tranquility," "love" and "mercy."
The
Quran states:
"And
among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among
yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has
put love and mercy between your hearts. Verily in that are signs for
those who reflect."
(Qur'an
30:21)
Marriage
serves as a means to emotional and sexual gratification and as a
means of tension reduction. Islam takes a middle of the road position
to sexual relations, it neither condemns it like certain religions,
nor does it allow it freely. Islam urges us to control and
regulate our desires, whatever they may be so that we remain
dignified and not become like animals. It is also a form of
Ibadah because it is obeying Allah and his messenger - i.e. Marriage
is the only legitimate or halal way to indulge in intimacy between a
man and a woman. Thus marriage in Islam is a religious duty and is
consequently a moral safeguard as well as a social necessity.
The
responsibility of a guardian (usually father or the next closest
male) in marriage is to help a female in selecting her husband.
Usually,
it is difficult for a female to dig into essential information about
a man, so a guardian, like a father, does his best for the interest
and welfare of that woman. Its responsibility of a guardian to find out every important thing about the boy such as, he is an adult of sound mind and good health, he is a practicing Muslim, he has good character and manners, he is responsible, he is educated and he is working and earning to support his family. Same things apply to girl except she is not required to earn and provide for the family. It is also important that the boy and girl talk to each other face to face in privacy in girls home to make sure they both are happy to marry. If
the girl wants to marry a certain person, but the Wali is against it,
then the Islamic council judge will consider, why that guardian object to the
marriage; if he has a sound legitimacy in objecting to that certain
marriage, then the court will enforce his opinion. If he gives an
incorrect and illegitimate reason, the guardian will have no power
for marriage. The judge will give the girl the right to marry that
person. No one can force the girl to marry anyone that she doesn’t
like to marry.
In
a practical aspect, In Islam, marriage is considered both a social
agreement and a legal contract. Islamic marriage is thus structured
through a legal contract detailing the rights and duties of both the
parties. Islamic marriages require acceptance, in Arabic: قبول qubūl,
of the groom, the bride and the consent of the Wali (guardian,
usually father) of the bride. However Wali can not force the bride
into the marriage against her proclaimed will, such marriage will not
be valid. The Mahr (bride gift) is a compulsory part of an Islamic
marriage. It is a gift of money, jewellery, property or any other
valuable asset made by the husband to the wife, which becomes her
exclusive property. There is in fact no fixed limit for Mahr. Allah
required the provision to depend upon the circumstances of the
husband.
The Quran states:
..."But
give them Mahr [a gift ] - the wealthy according to his capability
and the poor according to his capability - a provision according to
what is acceptable, a duty upon the doers of good."
(Quran
2:236)
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc.).”
(Qur’an
4:34)
“O
you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their
will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take
away part of the Mahr you have given them, unless they commit a clear
immorality. And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it
may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great
deal of good.”
(Qur’an
4:19)
The
Quran further declares:
“O people, fear your Lord, Who created you of a single soul, and from it created its mate, and from the pair of them scattered many men and women; and fear God by whom you claim [your rights] from one another and kinship ties. Surely God has been watchful over you”
“O people, fear your Lord, Who created you of a single soul, and from it created its mate, and from the pair of them scattered many men and women; and fear God by whom you claim [your rights] from one another and kinship ties. Surely God has been watchful over you”
(Qur’an
4: 1)
"They (your wives) are your garment and you are a garment for them"
(Qur’an
2:187)
This
verse of the Quran reveals the basic purpose and concept of marriage
in Islam. Islam enjoins that a wife and husband should have the most
close and loving relationship. It requires that a husband and wife
should be as garments for each other. Just as garments are for
protection, comfort, beauty and concealment for human beings, Allah
expects husbands and wives to be for one another.
And
if things go wrong Quran encourage us to seek counselling:
“And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is all Knowing, All-Aware.”
“And if you fear dissension between the two, send an arbitrator from his people and an arbitrator from her people. If they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause it between them. Indeed, Allah is all Knowing, All-Aware.”
(Quran
4:35)
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Divorce:
Divorce is sensitive issue and a difficult experience anywhere in the world in any religion or under any judicial system. Its a time consuming process especially when alimony or children are involved. As we know that divorce
existed before Islam, but the advent of Islam made the divorce
process much more practical and favourable to women. In Islam women’s
property is not divided during a divorce. Whatever a has woman earned
or received as gift before and during the course of the marriage
remains her property if the marriage ends. This prevents
men from taking advantage of women’s property or wealth through
marriage or divorce. Furthermore during the period of Iddah
(waiting period) a woman is entitled to support and maintenance from
her former husband. And if she is pregnant or breastfeeding then
husband has to provide for her expenses till she finishes that
duration. Husband has to take care of all the expenses of children
till they reach maturity.
"The mothers shall give such to their offspring for two whole years, if the father desires to complete the term. But he shall bear the cost of their food and clothing on equitable terms. No soul shall have a burden laid on it greater than it can bear. No mother shall be Treated unfairly on account of her child. Nor father on account of his child, an heir shall be chargeable in the same way. If they both decide on weaning, by mutual consent, and after due consultation, there is no blame on them. If ye decide on a foster-mother for your offspring, there is no blame on you, provided ye pay (the mother) what ye offered, on equitable terms. But fear Allah and know that Allah sees well what ye do."
(Quran
2:233)
Unfortunately there are many misconceptions surrounding women’s rights and divorce in Islam. The most common misconception is man can divorce his wife very easily by saying talak 3 times!
It
is NOT true that all you have to say is: "I divorce you three
times," and that's it. Most people who do this, do it out of pure ignorance, lack of Islamic knowledge. Provisions
of the Quran on this issue are crystal clear and in cases of marital
disputes, it spells out a detailed procedure for its resolution and
goes to a great length to save a family from any breakup.
As a first stage, here's what Quran says 4:34:
“Men
are the protectors and maintainers of women,
because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and
because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous
women are devoutly obedient (to God), and guard in the husband's
absence what Allah orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity, their
husband's property, etc.) As
to those women on whose part you fear disloyalty and ill-conduct,
admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and
finally) strike them (drive away or go away from house). Then if
they behave, seek no means against them. Indeed,
Allah is Most High, Supreme.”
(Al
Quran 4:34)
The second stage laid down in Quran says 4:35:
“And
if you fear breach between the two (husband and wife), send
an arbitrator from his family and an arbitrator from her family. If
they both desire reconciliation, Allah will cause reconciliation
between them. Indeed,
Allah is ever Knowing and Acquainted [with all things].”
(Al Quran 4:35)
(Al Quran 4:35)
The
third stage is the waiting period, there is an option for
reconciliation during the iddat period, during which they can reflect
and reverse their decision if they wish.
"O Prophet, when you [Muslims] divorce women, divorce them with a view to the waiting-period appointed for them and keep count of the waiting period, and fear Allah, your Lord. Do not turn them out of their [husbands'] houses, nor should they [themselves] leave [during that period] unless they are committing a clear immorality. And those are the limits [set by] Allah. And whoever transgresses the limits of Allah has certainly wronged himself. You never know, Allah may, thereafter, bring about some new situation"
(Al
Quran 65:1)
Abdullah
bin Masud says:
Divorce
for the waiting period means that one should pronounce the divorce in
the woman‘s state of purity ie after she finishes her menstruation
but without having had an intercourse after her menstruation. This is
to make sure she is not pregnant and if she is then to protect her rights.
There
can be many reasons behind the wisdom of Iddah period. May it be a
chance to reflect and reconcile, to determine pregnancy for sure, to
safeguard her from disease and criticism, to cleanse and heal her as
women can be greatly affected by hormone fluctuations which can cause
emotional changes such as sadness and irritability. Sometimes it gets
to the point of feeling totally overwhelmed.
The
scholars may derive the reasons by means of study and ijtihaad, and
they may be right or wrong. Science may have advanced but still there
are many things we don't know yet! There are things we can't see or
understand but as Muslims we believe the that Allah has great wisdom
and though we dont know yet but there is always a reason why Allah
commanded us or refrain us from certain thing.
Thus
Islam instituted a three month (in case of divorce) or four month ten
days (for widow) waiting period for women called Iddah. During this
period women are not permitted to re-marry and man has to provide for
her expenses. Contrary to the notion, Quran says a man cannot give three talak at one
go, it's to avoid a man divorcing his wife in haste due to anger. Allah has prescribed time period giving couple the
chance of reconciliation in case they change their mind. And the
other important reason for this rule is to determine whether the
woman was pregnant before she remarried so the father of the
offspring could be ascertained and made responsible for his child's
expenses and upbringing. Thus this practice ensures the child’s
identity and security. If couple fail to reconcile during
this waiting period then divorce can take place even after first
talak.
In
Islam husband has to be responsible and fair, he cannot divorce his
wife more than two times, and he cannot
abandon or leave her at her parents home (with or without providing her
expenses) without divorcing her. He has to make a fair decision of either keeping her with respect or leaving her with dignity. This command is to protect her from being manipulated and mistreated, ie often husband plays a divorce card to threatened her and play with her emotionally. Allah forbids this kind of treatment and whoever does it transgresses his limit and will be accountable in front of Allah on the day of judgement.
"Divorce can be pronounced twice: then, either honourable retention or kindly release should follow".
(Al Quran 2:229)
If
all these attempts to reconcile fail, then it is deemed better for
them to separate because practically there is no point staying in an
unhappy marriage where the spouse can be abusive (physical, mental,
emotional), dishonest or irresponsible person as it will only lead to
more trouble and heartache. In that case it is better for the person to move on with their life and pray to Allah and you never know there can be a better life ahead.
Upon
divorce woman is entitled to maintenance for the Iddah period, she is
entitled to her Mahar/Dower fixed at the time of marriage if it is
not given at that time. She is entitled to keep all her money,
jewellery, property and anything she earned or received as gift from
anyone including her husband before or during their marriage. In
Islam women’s property is not divided during a divorce. She is not
made financially responsible for their children's maintenance either. Maintenance
of children is obligatory upon the father according to scholarly
consensus, whether he keeps his wife or divorces her, and whether the
wife is poor or rich. Thus, it's
the fair and simple solution to get on with her life whereas in
conventional divorce through judicial system she will have to fight for her
rights and wait for years for justice and still get disappointed with bitter experience and time waste.
Basic conditions for custody are:
The
conditions of custody are: being accountable (i.e., an adult of sound
mind etc.), being of good character, being a Muslim if the child
concerned is a Muslim, and being able to fulfil all obligations
towards the child. The mother should not be married to a person who
is a stranger (i.e., not related) to the child. If
one of these conditions is not fulfilled then the parent concerned forfeits the
right to custody.
Women if they meet above condition have more right to custody of small children than men because generally they are more compassionate and more kind, and they know better how to raise small children, and they are more patient in dealing with the difficulties involved. But even if the children are in the custody of a divorced woman, then their father must support them financially. If the father refuses to undertake this responsibility then he is sinning and fortifies his right to custody. It is important to note that children's custody isn't any kind of ownership of children, it's an important responsibility of parents.
Maintenance of children includes accommodation, food, clothing, education, medical expenses and anything that is necessary to for upbringing of a child. It is to be based on what is reasonable, paying attention to the husband’s situation, because Allaah says :
“Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allaah has given him. Allaah puts no burden on any person beyond what He has given him. Allaah will grant after hardship, ease”
[al-Talaaq 65:7]
The
period of custody lasts until the age of discretion and independence,
i.e., until the child is able to feed by himself, and clean
himself. When the child reaches this age, the period of custody ends,
whether the child is a boy or a girl. That is usually at the age of
seven or eight. When the child reaches the age of independence as above, the
period of custody comes to an end and the period of kafaalah or
sponsorship of the young begins, which lasts until the child reaches
adolescence or in the case of a girls, starts her periods. Then the
period of sponsorship ends and the child is free to make his own
choices.
Thus in Islam divorce is a systematic procedure permissible only when there is no other option left. It is clear from these provisions that the Quran tries hard to save the family from splitting. It is also important to keep in mind that although divorce is permitted in Islam, it is not encouraged. The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) stated “Of all the permitted acts divorce is most displeasing to Allah”.
Triple Talaq Violates The Spirit Of Both The Quran And The Constitution.
Another
misconception is that giving talak is the sole right of man:
It
is NOT the sole right of man alone. There are three types of Sharia
divorce following a wife's petition:
1.
Khula is given when a husband and wife have consummated the marriage
and the wife asks the husband for a divorce and the husband agrees.
Once a khula has been pronounced and the idda period has come to an
end, the husband and wife are divorced.
Once
the divorce is finalised the petitioner and respondent are issued
with an Islamic divorce
certificate.
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Inheritance in Islam:
http://alqalam.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/Jan-2010-IWS-Islamic-Wills-(Markfield-et-al)-[Compatibility%20Mode].pdfInheritance Calculator
http://inheritance.ilmsummit.org/projects/inheritance/home.aspx
"And
for all, We have made heirs to what is left by parents and relatives.
And to those whom your oaths have bound [to you] - give them their
share. Indeed Allah is ever, over all things, a Witness."
(Al Quran
4:33)
"And do not consume one another's wealth unjustly or send it [in bribery] to the rulers in order that [they might aid] you [to] consume a portion of the wealth of the people in sin, while you know [it is unlawful]".
(Al Quran 2:188)
(Al Quran 2:188)
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The
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
"The
seeking of knowledge is obligatory for every Muslim."
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