Islamic Learning for kids and adults





Arabic Alphabet Quiz


Islamic Quiz


 Stories of Prophets for kids (by Yusuf Estes)

Asma-ul-husna for kids
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TruVP4-vLyE


Learning resources -toys/games/books: 
Arabic alphabet wooden puzzle 

Arabic alphabet flash cards


High frequency words flashcards from Al-Quran






There are apps for kids like..
Daily duas for kids
Salah for kids
Qurani Qaida Lite


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Behaviour and Discipline:



First of all I am not an expert but I have learn through my experience that behaviour vice children are most difficult after age one till age three, then comes different challenges from age 4 to 7. This is the age when they are really curious about almost everything and want to test their independence. This is the time for them to test their limits and it is testing time for parents too.. yes it is stressful but the key is to try and handle calmly..
Set clear boundaries for your child's safety and well being. Experts agree that parents should set consistent limits. It is important for parents to be firm and consistent. Being firm means not giving into your child tantrums and following through on what you say you are going to do. Being consistent means responding to specific behaviours the same way every time. For example, if your child throws a ball aggressively in the house, you should tell him that if he throws the ball again, you will take the ball away. If your child proceeds to throw the ball again, simply take the ball away and have your child choose another toy to play with.


We experience the challenges of defiance but most of the time they actually don't mean to disobey you, it is because of their curiosity they cant resist, and your constant No’s might make them frustrated, so instead of saying 'No' you cant do or have it, say you can do or have this instead, ie give him a better choice. It’s best to stick with just three or four non-negotiable rules, like "No hitting", "No throwing things", "No yelling", because too many orders can overwhelm kids and adults too.

For babies distraction works best, just pick him up and put him to some other activity, try diverting your baby's attention by getting him interested in something else, for eg. when taking away something he can't have, before taking it away, distract him with an interesting item that is allowed to have. The best thing you can really do at this age is try preventing the situation from arising, keep 'No's to a minimum.
F    For eg. if he does unacceptable behaviour like hitting, playing with hazardous things, throwing things etc.. - get down to his level, hold his hands gently, look into eyes and say firm ‘NO’. If he continues hitting, cry out with empathy and say you hurt mama with a sad look, he will definitely understand you are upset and most probably will stop. Same way, while you take away any hazardous thing he is playing with, just say it is not safe with a surprised emotion and give him some other thing at the same time. Babies have great ability to read facial expressions.

Babies and children can also cry when they are over stimulated, over-stimulation or any change in routine can make them stressed and they need to take that stress out in order to calm down. In this situation is it best to let them cry it out in your arms as it literally can offload stress. Crying is an instinctive physiological releasing mechanism. If he starts to hold his breath while crying gently blow a little air on his face, the bodies natural instinct is to breathe so he wont suffocate.

When he stops love/hug him as he must be worn out.

He should be well fed, get enough sleep, enough activity, enough attention and lots of love, lack of any of these things can also result in crankiness. 

Here are few articles I really liked..

http://www.peaceful-parent.com/article_childrens_cries.php   
http://www.peacefulparent.com/helping-little-people-deal-with-their-big-feelings/
http://www.ahaparenting.com/_blog/Parenting_Blog/post/What_To_Do_When_Your_Child_Gets_Angry/ 
http://www.themotherco.com/2014/05/ways-to-boost-emotional-intelligence/
 
"Tantrums happen when kids don't get their way and they're mad." If your toddler throws a tantrum when he doesn't get his way, try to explain if he/she is ready to listen or ignore and remain as calm as possible until it's over (this is most difficult thing). Never argue, it is best if you can show very little or no attention to the unwanted behaviour, once he learns that he won't get the desired attention, he'll repeat it less. Again keep No's to minimum, most children dislike the word 'No' and this often triggers tantrums. It is a good idea to avoid saying the word No, e.g. if he asks you to play with him you can say "Yes mama will play after finishing this work" or if he asks for sweets before food, you can say "Yes I will give you after you finish your food". If you can see a tantrum in the making, you could quickly handle the situation by distracting your child before it becomes full blown.  

If he does unacceptable behaviour like hitting, throwing things, playing with hazardous things etc.. get down to his level, hold his hands gently, look into eyes and say firm "NO" and if he do tantrums over it just be firm and clear: "I love you and I'm upset to see you like this, but you can't hit or throw things when you don't get your way, that is not acceptable. 

It helps to acknowledge his feelings of frustration. Validating your child's feelings will help him settle down, and once he's calm enough to listen, you can deliver your discipline message. Saying something like, "I know you want to play with this but it is dangerous you can get hurt”, "I understand that you are disappointed and that is hard to stop playing but it's time to go home,"  “I know you like chocolates but it’s not good to eat too much because it will spoil your teeth”. "I wish we could go to park now but I am in the middle of cooking". Let your toddler cry in your lap to help him/her cool off. 

Power struggles can be avoided by giving them a choice, informing them beforehand ie letting them know what's going to happen next, ie "we are leaving in 10 minutes". And if he/she gets even more mad.. then the only thing you should do is IGNORE ie STOP REACTING on tantrums and carry on with your thing. Don’t give any reaction not positive and not even negative one! This can be hard, but it is important for you to remain firm and calm and continue with your work (don't walk away or he/she will cry for different reason). Just calmly convey a short massage a couple of time in between that mama will only talk to you when you will stop whining and be good, this will eventually make him think that this is not working and he/she will eventually stop. When he stops love/hug him and try to explain him nicely but its good to keep it short. 
 
For little older children explaining what is right and wrong behaviour from early on, maintaining reward chart and putting stickers for each positive or negative behaviour and rewarding them can work. Like if they earn more positive stickers they get a small treat at the weekend! like a toy or going to some fun place. Similarly taking away their privileges if they earn more negative stickers make them learn the consequences of their misbehaviour so they may improve. 

Regarding practicing Salah/Namaz, do not force or scare them but explain that we pray because Allah is worthy of worship. He is our Creator and Sustainer and we are in need of his guidance and kindness. We pray to show gratitude to Allah and we pray for our peace of mind. Its only through Allah we can achieve goodness and peace within ourselves.


Regarding chores/homework, it will help if you make the 'chore' interesting till the child is mature enough to understand the logic, eg. a child who does not like to write might be interested to write if you give them their topic of interest initially, eg. they might want to write a story involving a character they like. Sometimes a bit of humour does the trick. And sometimes logic works when they are little older, explain that homework may seem hard or not so interesting but it is important to practice so you get better in your studies which is good for you. For chores, encourage and explain that we are a family and this is our house so we should all help in the house and being responsible is good thing. Praise or reward them after they have done the chore but do not force, bribe or pay them for doing chores because that can only bring negative outcome. 

For difficult behaviour such as deifying parents/teachers or bullying siblings/friends, throwing things and being rude. Mostly children do it to get their way or for attention. First check if he/she has any bad influence from friends/family etc, do not leave kids unsupervised. It is very important to put parental controls on internet usage so they don't get access to inappropriate things. Make sure he/she gets your time and positive attention at home. Keep modelling, advising and explaining him/her on occasional basis importance of good behaviour and empathy. For eg if he's/she's done any negative behaviour like hurting his/her sibling/friend start by asking a question “how would you feel if someone did this to you?”. Explain that “its ok to be angry but its not ok to physically or emotionally hurt someone”. Also explain that “you must not tolerate or copy bad behaviour because they are equally bad for you”. Explain that “we must treat people the way we want to be treated”. Tell them that "if you make bad choices it has bad consequences but if you choose to behave good you are becoming a good person and Allah loves good people".
Some parents scare their kids by saying things such as if you do or don't do something then Allah will make you blind or punish you etc.. it is very damaging, instead tell them that Allah is kind and He loves kindness. Explain that “everybody likes attention but you can get positive attention only by behaving nice”. Always end on positive note, tell him/her that “I love you and I want the best for you”, “I know you are a good person and you can choose to behave nice and I trust you will make a right choice”. Keep reminding this every time he/she does something wrong. Correct bad behaviour immediately and if you keep persistent in this approach, slowly you will start to see the difference.

Children respond better to positive reinforcement/ discipline, always reward good behaviour rather than punishing misbehaviour, but there are times when there is no other option, in those times, time out's do seem to work, but first warn him and if he still mis-behaves just make him sit in a naughty chair (without any activity or talking) and say this is because you did something wrong..., this can help him take off his emotions and eventually cool down and realise that this behaviour is not acceptable. Most of the time naughty chair is not required as if you just appear upset and stop talking to him for a while, that should be enough for a little child, he will come to you with an apology, even if he cant say proper words you will be able to understand that he is sorry! Your child loves you as much as you love him/her its just they don't know how to behave, and its our job to teach them.


Get involved with kids through play and learning, correct them immediately when they are wrong and teach them manners in between. Afterall it's parents responsibility to teach their children morals and values. Remember if you want your children to grow up as decent human beings then rudeness and roughness should not be acceptable from the very beginning. Kids will do mischief but try to be patient and adapt positive parenting approach that is, focus and praise their positive behaviour and gently but firmly correct their negative behaviour. This approach takes time but if we are persistent it will get better with time. Never laugh or pay attention to a behaviour you don't want to encourage, rather praise good behaviour that you want to encourage. Experts say- It may be tough to resist spoiling now, but the payoff will be huge. Your child will learn how to manage feelings, how to cooperate, and have self-control. These lessons will be beneficial throughout your child's life.  
Its worth noting that very strict or detached parenting will only produce unhappy children. It is seen that strictly disciplined children might be obedient during childhood but during puberty they tend to either turn defying or unconfident and both these traits are not good for their personality and life, but that doesn't mean you should spoil them rotten because that is not good for their life either. Finding a balance is the key, no parent is perfect but you have to try different approaches and figure out what works best for your child, the most important thing is parents should keep connected with their child, work together and be consistent on their approach.
We all have moments when trying to get our children’s attention feels like talking to a brick wall. At home, this inability to listen can be infuriating – and at school, it could be getting in the way of their learning. Listening is one of the most important skills for young children to master, but it’s not something that comes easily to many children, especially at a young age. ‘It takes a long time for children to learn to control their attention,’ says Sue Palmer, a former primary headteacher and author of Upstart: ‘It involves many aspects of development, including physical coordination and control, the ability to control their emotions and defer gratification, and social and communication skills.


The way you talk to your child matters if you want them to listen. Children generally struggle to multi-task, so rather than expecting them to follow a long sequence of instructions (‘Can you brush your teeth, comb your hair, put your homework in your school bag and get your shoes on, please?’), break it down, giving them one or two at a time. It’s also important to use your child’s name to attract their attention, make eye contact, speak clearly and give them some thinking time before expecting a response,’ adds Sue.

Children’s listening skills will develop over time, and will always be better when they are interested and engaged with what they’re supposed to be listening to. At five to six years old, for example, they’re beginning to be able to filter out distractions, but can still only listen with focus for five to ten minutes. Listening to rhymes is powerful for developing auditory memory, and listening to stories builds up listening stamina. Spending time interacting with your child is essential. ‘It’s very important to talk to your child and demonstrate what effective listening involves by listening to them yourself,’ adds Sue.
Its our responsibility as parents to correct and advice our children without criticizing them because the way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice. No matter how difficult you think your child’s behaviour is, but most children go through episodes of difficult behaviour, probably because of brain growth spurt:

"The human brain normally undergoes major growth spurts at several ages: 3 to 10 months, 2 to 4 years, 6 to 8 years, 10 to 12 years, and 14 to 16 years. Some children have a maturational delay in the sequence and manifest symptoms of ADHD that appear to normalise by about age 5 years" (Synopsis of Psychiatry)


There are some parents who fear their child might have some mental health issues and even there are some parents who fear that their child is under some kind influence of evil spirit or magic spell! Thinking that, parents often tend to go in wrong direction in search of a cure! which can have very bad impression on child's mind and might scar him/her for life. The reality is, our lives have become fast and busy and there are so many distractions which will obviously cause some behavioural issues but that doesn't mean that something is wrong with your child, its our lifestyle and surroundings that is causing children to behave in certain way...  

Therefore please do not rush to giving your child psychiatric dugs or do anything illogical.. Stimulant drugs are routinely prescribed these days for children who can’t sit still in class or who can’t concentrate and focus on their work, or even being used as a disciplinary tool to manage child's “attitudes.” Medication doesn’t cure ADD/ADHD. It can relieve symptoms while it’s being taken, but once medication stops, those symptoms come back. Psychiatric Drugs are powerful, mind-altering medications linked to growth suppression, increased blood pressure and psychotic episodes such as aggression, depression, psychosis, seizures, mood swings, panic attacks. In children, the impacts of their long-term use are completely unknown, although given the drug's addictive nature, it's quite possible these kids could become life-long addicts.

People trust their doctors to be an authority and this doctor has failed to give them all the facts. It has become convenient for doctors and parents to drug their children without looking into other options. Teachers who lack proper skills, patience or are even discriminative can wrongly see it as some kind of disorder and push for the ADHD or such other diagnosis and drugs to solve their problem which is unfair on kids and their parents. Drugs are just an excuse to go the easy way out. This type of thinking is not in the best interest of the welfare of the child or future generations. Parents need to give it some time as most kids grow out of "so called" disorders by age 10. Inform yourself and speak out for your children as you are their only support. Talk to your kids and try to find the root cause, it is possible that a child is having trouble in school or even at home because he is emotionally upset (feels he is being ignored, bullied or even abused), he/she is socially immature, undisciplined, over-disciplined or just like adults, children have their own strengths and weaknesses which is normal, but if we help them by explaining and encouraging they will slowly somewhat outgrow it or learn to manage it. Some teachers are really caring, talk to your child's teacher and discuss what support your child needs, after-all its a team work. First thing to check is that they are getting enough nutrition, sleep, physical activity/play and are generally happy. It is time that parents slow down their lives, talk to their children and find out what is going on in their life and try to help them accordingly. And if all of this doesn't work then it is the time to seek professional help.


ADHD
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wv49RFo1ckQ
http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/10/24/children-adhd-drugs.aspx
http://www.cchrflorida.org/prescribing-adhd-drugs-to-children-as-a-study-aid-is-unethical/
http://www.cchrint.org/psychiatric-drugs/stimulantsideeffects/  

This is a good book..
https://books.google.co.uk/books/about/The_Edison_Trait.html?id=ae9GAAAAMAAJ&hl=en 
Make informed decision regarding vaccinations: 
Read here.. http://www.vaccineriskawareness.com/

 



Favouritism among children is injustice indeed.. Allah's Messenger (ï·º) said, 'Be afraid of Allah, and be just to your children.' Bukhari 2587 http://www.sunnah.com/urn/24240
Be careful who you leave your child with! Do not leave them unsupervised..

Happy Parenting :)

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 Stranger Danger Rules.


For Children from 3 to 10: Parents must teach basic safety rules to their children keeping in mind luring tactics used by child predators/abductors.

Firstly, when teaching your child about stranger danger it is important to be aware of not frightening you child or giving them the impression that everyone out there is bad. Explain that there are many good people but there are some bad people too.
Explain that stranger is any adult they do not know well. Help your child to understand that a bad stranger will not look different to anyone else, so it is important that they are careful with everyone, as we don’t know what people are like just by looking at them.

Never talk or go anywhere with a stranger, say “I am not allowed” and just leave the place asap.
Never take anything from strangers (sweets/chocolates, toys, money etc) even if their friends have done so, say “I am not allowed” and just leave the place asap.
Never accept a lift in a car from a stranger, even if their friends have done so, say “I am not allowed” and just leave the place asap
Never agree to help a stranger, if a stranger asks you for help to find something they've lost, or if they ask address/directions etc you must refuse by saying “Sorry I cant help, please ask some adult”
Never go up to a car for any reason, no matter what they say- keep away so that no one can get hold of you and you can run away.
Kick, scream and shout, “help” and “who are you?” if you are forced in a building or car.
Do not give any personal information to strangers, either personally, over internet, telephone/mobile.
Always tell parent if you have been approached by a stranger
Always tell parent if someone has asked you to keep a secret from your parent.
You must forcefully use the word “STOP .....” if someone is making you physically uncomfortable.
Never to wander off alone on school trips, stay with group and near to teachers.
Never to wander off alone on family outings, stay with parents and family.
Never walk or play in dark or lonely places or near the road, even if your friends are doing so.
Never leave anywhere without parents permission.
If you get lost, look calm and stay in the same place, and find a mother with kids to help. Give her your parent's number and ask her to call you.

For Parents:
Parents must be extra careful about their children's safety and must take all the precautions to keep their children safe from child predators/abductors.

Make sure you know all the times where your child is.
Do not leave your children alone with anyone who is not a trusted family member e.g. maid, child minder, neighbours, your friends, child's friend's parents/relatives etc.
Do not leave them to play unsupervised in communal building compound.
Always accompany young children to the bathroom in a public place.
Personally dropping and picking up kids from school, tuition, clubs and classes is much safer.
Make sure you know your child's friends.
Screen your household workers if they are not registered ie take maid's, driver's copy of ID and have their background checked before hiring them. Always hire a local person through trusted recommendation.
Instruct domestic workers not to give out your personal information to anyone.
Do not write your child’s name on school bags or anything and do not call your child's name loudly in public places, as this will make their name known to strangers. Children are less wary of strangers who know their name.
Do not post their personal information or close-up pictures on social media.
Make your device/computer/phone child friendly and do not give your children unsupervised internet access.
Make sure your children know their own names, your name and phone number, and the numbers to call in case of an emergency. If they are older, provide them with basic phone and teach them how to use it if required on school trips, or if they are little, make them wear a waterproof wrest band with “my parents number- xxxx” written on it.
Keep your child's current picture and his personal details handy so you can use it in case of emergency.
Explain stranger danger, road safety, internet safety and body privacy rules. Keep reminding every now and then.

Role play situations with your child to help them understand appropriate and inappropriate behaviour from strangers. Story books are also an excellent way of educating children about the dangers in the outside environment.
Remember, your children are watching and learning from you so better watch your own actions!

Communicating with children on daily basis is very important.. Ask how was their day at school, tuition, clubs and classes and listen attentively when they speak. Criticising and embarrassing a child will make them not trust you to share anything. Rather explain calmly in a positive tone.
Remember, precaution and communication are equally important to keep your kids safe.
Please share with all your friends and family.

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Internet Safety Rules:

Some internet contents can be very damaging, mind corrupting and even life threatening! Talk to your children about internet safety, discuss with them the dangers of internet if not used appropriately. Explain how nasty people manipulate young people's mind through online grooming and make them do horrible things. They can steal their personal details and misuse it in any way.

At the same time explain that it is safe to use internet carefully for positive things such as using it for staying in touch with friends and family, searching information related to health and education, school and college projects, office work, charity, banking, paying bills, shopping online, advertising for your business and selling products, spreading awareness, complaining, reading and writing product reviews, reading books, playing educational and other decent games etc.

Ask them not to post or message their pictures or personal information on social media websites or to anyone.
Not to search for negative things on internet like browsing inappropriate, vulgar or violent images, vedios, music.
Not to play vulgar or violent games and apps.
Not to message or share such bad stuff.
Not to involve in any chat with strangers. Not to open any links they receive in message, email or while browsing.
Because doing all this will spoil your character and put you in trouble.

Make your device/computer/phone child friendly ie put parental controls for You-tube and downloads etc and install screening software on every device with internet. Be very careful with You-tube videos as there is really bad stuff posted under kids cartoon videos. Do not give your children unsupervised internet access, only allow them to use internet in your presence and keep an eye.

Do not give your kids smart phone with camera and internet untill they are sensible and mature enough, may be at 18! Till then basic phone without internet is enough for contacting family and friends.

When you give them access on phone or internet tell them in advance you will be checking their devices from time to time just to make sure they are safe. Tell them you trust them that they will not misuse the device and will not involve in anything negative.

Remember, precaution and communication are equally important to keep your kids safe.
Please share with all your friends and family.

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